I am not Zen and I never will be. I am not a navel contemplator. I do not do "still." But I consider myself a deeply spiritual woman, someone who needs to commune with the divine and feel a connection to something bigger and better than I am on a regular basis. So how does a Type A personality find a means in which to slow down and focus on the inner world rather than the outer world? For me, that answer became abundantly and blissfully clear years ago when I first discovered the empowerment of labyrinth walking.
completed in 1200 AD.
The labyrinth is an ancient tool for meditation and prayer. Often mistakenly referred to as a maze, the labyrinth is markedly different from those hedge maze garden structures that challenged people to find their way out. A maze is a place where people get lost, because there are multiple pathways to the same destination. But a labyrinth has only one path to the center. It is a structure filled with metaphor, but this is the first and most important: when you walk a labyrinth, as long as you stay true to your path, you will always reach the center. A labyrinth is a place where we find ourselves rather than lose ourselves.
I need to find myself now. Ten months ago today, my newlywed husband died in my arms at the age of 41. Married on July 22, 2012, he became ill on Thanksgiving and died of an aggressive and impossible cancer right before New Year's Eve. My life does not look anything like I thought it would at this time. Everything I have ever believed about the world, about God and even about myself has been challenged in these last ten months. With the exception of my immediate family and a very small group of friends, no one and no thing that was critical to my life at this time last year even exists anymore in my daily experience.
My own labyrinthine path over this past year has taken as many twists and turns as the 11 circuits of the most famous and exalted of all labyrinths, the 800 year old structure within Chartres Cathedral. When walking the circuits of that labyrinth, there are moments when I am certain I am coming very close to the center, what I have perceived to be my destination, when suddenly an unexpected turn takes me out to the most distant reaches - as far from the center as it is possible to be. But the labyrinth has taught me to put my head down and just keep walking. Stay on my path. Keep moving toward a center on my way to a sacred destination worth reaching. It is a walking meditation, a place where I can pray, a place where I can talk to God and know that He and She are not only listening, but replying.
I often say that walking into an 11 circuit labyrinth is like dialing the 1-800 number to the Divine. As I walk in to those circuits, I breathe away the stresses and anxieties of the cerebral world, and allow myself to stay on the path that flows to the center. When I arrive at the central space, in the shape of a rose with six petals, that 800 number has connected me directly to the Upstairs Department. I have reached a customer service line of angels to answer my questions.
I have written two books which were inspired by the labyrinth and how it serves as a prayer tool. In this excerpt from my second novel, The Book of Love, the heroine Matilda of Tuscany seeks her answers in the labyrinth. This passage conveys my deep love of this process, through the eyes of Matilda:
"Perhaps Matilda would find her strength in the morning, once she had listened to God in the center of the labyrinth. It had never failed her before. The six-petaled flower at the center of the labyrinth was her favorite place on earth, the sweetest, safest location ever created. Tomorrow she would go there in search of herself, her future and God's otherwise indiscernible will."
In 2009, I released a book entitled "The Source of Miracles" to convey the prayer practice that I utilize within the 6 petaled rose. The book also tells the story of how my experiences within the labyrinth saved the life of my youngest son, Shane.
And so this week, after many years of driving for hours to find walkable labyrinths, I have realized one of my great dreams: I am in the middle of construction of my very own, custom built labyrinth! It is designed to replicate the dimensions of the labyrinth in Chartres Cathedral.
Construction of the circuits
Selenite is cut and polished to create the rose petals
More selenite and celestite for the center of the labyrinth
I will keep you all posted on the progress of my labyrinth. But if you would like to try this amazing walking meditation, and perhaps find some respite for your over-committed 21st century mind, try this Worldwide Labyrinth Locator:
I'll meet you in the center.
Beautiful and inspiring. I can't wait to see it finished :-DReplyDelete
I have recently discovered your books (led and guided by dear Mary Magdalene) and connected with them immediately!! And dear Matilda is also close to my heart after reading "The Book of Love." Sincerely, thank you for writing these novels. They've brought confirmation to deep feelings and answers to me. And so sorry to hear about your dear husband. When something like this occurs in one's life, it brings life lessons (if one's willing to learn from it) and awareness to the statement "Trust and Believe" that God's plan for each of His/Her children is done with love. One day at a time. And the labyrinth is truly beautiful!!ReplyDelete
Dearest Kathleen, I too have been inspired and awakened by your beautiful books. I soak up meaningful literature and yours I have read twice, savor ing the words, the guidance and the love. We have a labyrinth nearby that I walk with my children. It is as meditative to them as it is to me. My offering to you with regards to the sudden and tragic loss of your husband is the the pendulum of emotion and deep feeling swings eaqually into the realms of grief and loss and back into the warmth and extract of connection and love. You are very brave to feel as deeply as you do. Thank you for being such an important conduit of so much. XOXOReplyDelete
Peace, Samhain BlessingsReplyDelete
Thank you for taking us with you on your journey, Kathleen. It is an honor to hear your story and follow the many twists and turns. We are all blessed by your vulnerable humanness and your courageous heart. We walk with you. Blessed BeReplyDelete
Your labyrinth is going to be very special - to you and us - on so many levels! I am so glad that you are going to finally have one of your very own. You know how much joy we got when we built our 'half size' Chartres Labyrinth - and how much peace we get walking it! Blessed Be my friend... on this special night of Samhain .... XXXReplyDelete
I absolutely love all your books and have read them multiple times.ReplyDelete
I can relate to your struggle as my husband of 32 years passed Oct 15, 2012. He was ill for many years and the end was hard. But to lose your young husband so quickly must still be a shock.
I wish you all the best. I look forward to any new books you're called to write.
Sorry I'm not 'feminine' (male actually!), but I still want to offer everybody my best wishes for their long journeys ... Go as far as you can see. When you get there you will see how to go further. (Author unknown. I like to think it was me!)ReplyDelete
I told my husband last year that I would like to have one in our backyard. Some days I just need to disconnect from the "cerebral" and connect to the "direct line" too. Even a small one would be so therapeutic. I wish you many, many soul finding moments sister. The time returns for those with ears to hear, let them hear. I think of you daily as I look at "my ring" that a survivor made for me. I can almost hear Nostradamus speaking at Orville. I pray for you daily.ReplyDelete
I just learned this morning that you are my new neighbor as I met Brittany, Dave and Rosie on the trail this morning -- we talked about the labyrinth you are building and after reading your post I was deeply touched by your loss. I hope walking the labyrinth brings you closer to where you want to be. Welcome to the neighborhood and I do hope we will meet someday soon.ReplyDelete
I was fortunate to have discovered your books some years ago and as a librarian have recommended them over and over...to no one's disappointment! I deeply understand your significant loss Kathleen having suffered the same loss some years ago...both of us at a much too-young point in our time. I can assure you that coming through the 'other side' of this process of grief is a certainty just as it is that you will be forever changed because of the experience. It's a new normal and from it you will continue to thrive. When it is time. Blessings, kateReplyDelete
A dear friend gave me his copy of The Expected One a few years ago -- it resonated with me deeply. I could hardly wait to read The Book of Love and The Poet Prince, which I devoured and have since bought for friends, along with The Source of Miracles. Thank you so much for your Work. Around the time I was reading your books, I was led to a labyrinth on the site where a friend had gifted me a Restorative Yoga class. I don't do "still" either, though I'd like to. Yoga and now the labyrinth are the closest I come to stillness and "yoking" with the Universe.*ReplyDelete
I approached the labyrinth feeling its Gnostic Christian roots, imagining Mary Magdalene and Matilda walking their labyrinths. I said The Lord's Prayer at the center. This was a source of strength in the last 3+ years of my husband's journey into Alzheimer's. I walked the labyrinth praying for strength and to know the right thing to do at each step along the way. My husband freed his spirit on October 11. I walk the labyrinth now with gratitude for the strength and peace it gave me during this difficult journey. It's a refuge for me.
I am truly sorry for the sudden loss of your husband, and I hope you find comfort in the words, "I have loved you before, I love you now, and I will love you again. The Time Returns." For my husband, I added "Always and Forever". I know we will be together again, and I hope you feel a similar peace and comfort knowing this to be true for you and your beloved.
By the way, the friend who gave me The Expected One is the author (Bill Harvey) of the soon-to-be-published You Are The Universe: Imagine That! I'm his editor. Let me know if you're up for looking at an advance copy -- I think you'll enjoy it.
Looking to build our own Chartres Cathedral Labyrinth. Can you please share where you got the designs. Thx!ReplyDelete
I am just reading your book, The Source of Miracles and came to your website. My last love who had been my soul partner also developed an aggressive lung cancer and died within three months of diagnosis. Blessed be love and light to you. Thank you.ReplyDelete